Resting.. Smeshting

Have you heard the term "Resting catholic" yet?
If you are lucky enough not to have then allow me to explain what a "resting" catholic is.
Many years ago, before we were as clever as we are now, we had what was commonly known as a "lapsed catholic". This was a term generally applied to those that once practiced the faith and for what ever reason ceased to do so.
Now however, "lapsed" is now seen as harsh and judgmental so some bright spark coined the description,"resting catholic".
I suppose the phrase counjours up images of Mr and Mrs Nice having a nice cuppa and refraining from the harsh prescription of getting out of bed on a Sunday morning to go to Mass.
In reality though, the only person "resting" is Satan.
If we are not going to Mass, if we are not going to Confession we are denying ourselves the saving Graces of these sacraments. Our souls are certainly not at rest.
Is there any term more ironic therefore than "resting"?
Do you suppose this term has been coined to make us feel better? That the great apostasy is only the great siesta?
That we are merely finding ourselves, taking a break, chillin', rather that endangering our immortal souls?
I know there are some who would deny that anyone born since 1953 actually has a soul to save.That we can just carry on doing whateva' because.whateva'.
Now I would like to hope that our Diocesan event to "Evangelise Resting Catholics"  would, you know,evangelise, fallen-away Catholics, so they would ultimately be let to repentance and reconciliation. But the cynic in me wonders if once again it is a case of, "How can we water-down/change/deny Church teachings that embarrass us so people will think we are cool after all"?
Until we stop using such innane marshmallow-fluff phrases, why should we believe it?

Dawkins the Evangelist

Dear Mr Professor Dawkins,
Perversely, perhaps, I'd like to thank you for your recent comments about the morality of aborting children with Down's syndrome.
As you are no doubt a regular reader of my esteemed blog, you will know that I have a son with Down's syndrome. (Don't worry, I'm not about to ask you to babysit him!)
You will also know of course that I am a member of that pesky sect known as the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church.
Why would I like to thank you? Good question Richard!
Surprisingly, rather than hearing sermons devoted to pulpit-thumping,talk of the Four last things, Humanae Vitae etc etc, most sermons I get are about "being nice" and donating to the Parish fete, with the words "God" and "Jesus" thrown in here and there to remind us all that we are in a church, and not in the local old ladies tea and knitting club.
If you could walk into a Catholic church on a typical Sunday (without giving out an unearthly howl and vapourising into a pile of dust in the narthex), you might notice a Liturgy that appears to look like old ladies walking about a lot, and talking. Dark rituals and brainwashing are far from the agenda.
Back to my point.
You see, Rick, what I'm trying to say is, I never hear about things that are important. It's all fluffy sentiment and vague stuff, most of the time at least. After hearing the eighty-sixth inane waffle-sermon in a row, followed by the gather-and -share "special bread" ceremony, you begin to wonder if God might indeed be found in your local pub instead and understand why it seems most Western Catholics are ex-Catholics.
How is it in your brief Godless twitter diatribe there is more truth and wisdom than you know.
Here's what you taught me.
The Devil is real.
The Devil hates the Catholic Church, therefore
The Catholic Church is One Holy and Apostolic.
The Devil has a particular hatred of people with Down's Syndrome (look at that abortion rate) therefore..
God has a particular love and a particular plan for these people, even when I can't always see it.
(If my whole family was to be vaporised this next minute, I'm pretty sure my Son would go straight to Heaven.I cannot say this with the same certainty about any other family member, particularly myself, although we can but hope and pray. This must irk the devil,no?)

Your hatred of Priests too. That they are so vilely attacked only proves to me how Special they are to God. They can administer Sacraments which can snatch you from the very gates of Hell. That's got to piss the Devil right off. And helps us laity when we don't necessarily see Holy Priests that often.

At least I know now that most likely that nice Mr Dawkins probably won't be invited around for tea and baby sitting. We'll probably skip past your name on the list of potential respite carers for my son if that's ok.
But your honesty, while wicked is refreshing. I'm sure many people feel the same way as you do, they just don't voice it. You are of course, no different in many cases from the friendly community midwife, your smiling GP or professional OBGYN consultant. You are no different from a couple of my son's former teachers, except their hatred of him is covered in plastic smiles, edu-speak and rhetoric.

So thank you Professor Dawkins. I'll pray for you, which you'll hate, and all who wander through the world for the ruin of souls, spreading their despair and hopelessness.

Letter of complaint..

To Mr B A Bishop,proprietor

Dear Mr  Bishop,

I visited your establishment this week, and was disappointed with the lack of variety of product.
I am a weekly visitor to my local branch, and yet despite my searching, I can only find the generic "lite" version available.

Try as I might, I just dislike the watered-down, saccharine- filled, artificially coloured version.

I find it leaves me feeling quite ill. I would rather not drink it, but I get so thirsty, and since it is always thrust into my hand by one of your establishment's cheerful smiling greeters, I feel it would be impolite to refuse, and like I said, there doesn't seem to be any alternative available.

I would like to request that you stock Plain Water, at least somewhere, as I find nearly all establishments stocking the same thing.

I find Plain Water to be very refreshing. It quenches my thirst, unlike your brightly coloured generic "lite". 

I realise for you to do so would mean you could be met with a boycott, because I've heard that the "youf wuv it",whatever that means, and that Plain Water is old-fashioned, especially when I have tried suggesting stocking a little Plain Water to individual local establishments.

As a Plain Water drinker, I have noticed that your "lite" drink seems to have some unpleasant side effects. 
It seems to make people, what we say locally as "hyper". When partaking, they seem to make increased levels of noise and movement. People keep trying to shake my hand for example, and people clap inappropriately sometimes too. Your "lite" drink, despite the hype, would appear to have some unwanted additives. 

I'll be blunt. I don't want my children drinking this crap, but if you fail to stock Plain Water, what choice do I have? Your dodgy fizz is unfortunately better than no drink at all.
Is it too much to ask that you just make a small amount of Plain Water available to those of us who require it.

Signed
Concerned parent

So much for women's lib...

We spend a lot of energy talking about equal pay for women, and glass ceilings (how impractical).
Women can now vote from a selection of lying pro-abortion same-old, same-old candidates at election time.
We can have bank accounts now, and be Doctors and Fire fighters and all sorts of things.
Now women are deemed to be as capable as men in almost all things except jar-opening and lifting things (ok, that's just me).

Why men were invented. To open these.

I guess one could argue that women, at least in the West are now well and truly "liberated".

Except we are not. 

Oh yes, we can now do men things, and walk down the street without a chaperone and someone ringing a little bell shouting "unclean! unclean", which is quite handy when you only wish to nip to the supermarket to buy some milk and scour the yellow-sticker section for bargains.

We now have the right to vote, or at least spoil our ballot paper rather than risk our eternal salvation.

Oh these are good things. I'm not disputing. "Girl power!", to quote those great modern-day saints The Spice Girls.

What we're not really allowed to do anymore is be women.

We are supposed to do this.

Because tapping stuff into a machine all day long is just awesome.

Not arguing that many women need to work and now can.

But we're not supposed to do this.

Well. Ok. We can. 

But not more than twice, possibly 3 times if you get the "wrong" sex kid.

Women.You can do anything you like. 

Except have lots of children.

By your husband. 

You can do everything your Grandmothers did not.

But you can't do what they did.

Sorry.

You only have the choice not to have children. Which is not a choice if  there is only one option presented. Women. If we can only do what is the "current popular thing" then are we not slaves ?

If women who choose to have many children are seen as thick and if-only- they -knew- about -Birth -control, if in effect, their choice is THE WRONG CHOICE. Then women, We have no choice at all.

Can we choose not to joyfully chow down on our class one carcinogens so we can tap stuff into a machine so we can  be "liberated". 

Do we really despise our Grandmothers that much, our great Grandmothers? If housewives and mothers of many are frowned upon, do we not mock them? 

Grandma. You're a loser!

St Catherine of Sienna was the 24th child of her parents. She was only able to be a Saint and do her radical things because she was conceived and born.

Or any great person. Only able to do their thing because some silly woman failed to use birth control, and spent time in the great humiliation of bum-wiping, sleepless nights, and being a loser.

Or any of us. Only able to choose to live our lives because of the efforts of our Mums.

Epiphany Blessing

We managed to get some chalk blessed, and did the Epiphany blessing on our door lintels. Had it not been for blogger Richard Collins I doubt I would have remembered this year.
We said the St Michael prayer as well at our three doorways.

Where is everybody?

I cannot understand how the magnificent Mass of ages does not seem to move people in droves to attend it. Here we have a Mass that is simply stunning. In this age of stress, and rushing around, an antidote. Stillness,silence.How many people seeing a therapist, or taking anti-depressants, but never stopping. Try the Mass of Ages. Its like therapy, only free.

To busy to pray? Too many people asking you for prayers? Try the Mass of ages. We pray for all.The living and the dead, the sinner and the saint.

If there was ever an age, when the Latin Mass was needed, it is this age. A little meeting of Heaven to Earth. How can anyone not want that?

I don't know what the Catholic population of Cardiff is. There were 4 people in Mass last night, including the Priest and Server. Last time there were only three.

I want to fling open the doors and scream,"Do you even know what is happening here?!" Do you have any idea?!"
If you want to meet God, then come here. 
Perhaps I am insane.
I can't understand why busloads of Catholics are not pulling up outside. They must not know. I can't understand anyone not wanting to come. I can't.
  It is not as if LMS Cardiff website is no good. Although you won't see a Latin Mass advertised in the diocesan "news"paper.
 .  The difference in my soul is this. When I go to a "bad"* novus ordo, I want renounce my Catholic Faith there and then. When I go to a Latin Mass, it fills me with sentiments of Faith, Hope, AND Charity. In short. It makes me want to be nice. good. Holy.

Nooo! Not this again!

But I begin to wonder if I am the only person who thinks like this. Like if I was better, nicer, holier, I could sit through some modern Mass and come out "on fire", and not in the sense that I hurl myself onto the votive candles in my frustration.
So either I am the only person who thinks like this, in which case, I am in fact, as mad as a hatter, or I am not. If I am not, then the lack of provision of the Latin Mass, the lack of promotion, the implication that this Mass actually doesn't exist anymore, is doing grave damage to souls.
To eat a Mc Donald's everyday probably won't kill you, at least not straight away, but is it fair to keep the perfectly-done grass-fed steak from people, because you think they can't handle its meaty goodness.


*Thankfully not all Novus Ordo Masses are so bad, I have found a nearby Parish which has not forgotten what the word reverence means.

Bums on seats, or souls in Heaven?

Evelyn Waugh, in his letters to Cardinal Heenan asked him, "What is the least I am obliged to do without grave sin. I find the new liturgy a temptation against Faith, Hope and Charity but I shall never,pray God, apostatize."
Today I endured  went to Mass in my nearest parish . I know that to miss Mass deliberately without good reason is a sin, but I honestly can't help wondering what one should do if Mass becomes an occasion of sin.


Why has Mass become for me ,like Waugh, a temptation against Faith,Hope and Charity?

This is a parish I have attended for years and years. I was Baptised there, made my First Holy communion there and was Confirmed there.
Since attending a reverent Novus Ordo, and the odd Latin Mass  I am shocked now by the noise, the irreverence, the priest-as toast-master.
There were at least 12 altar servers. Father delighted in the fact that there were not enough albs to go around. Several of them had nothing to do-their presence was "so they wouldn't be left out". But they were distracting. Most of the Mass was distracting.

spiritually distaracting

The constant hokey-cokey of having everyone included. The ushers, the welcomers, the introduction (yes we have an introduction),the pre-Mass announcements, the pre-mass welcome, The ushering-out of the Children's liturgy (complete with jokes) the first reader, the second reader,the reader of the psalm, the reader of the Gospel (new Deacon), the sermon-lite tm all-fluff-no substance, the bidding prayers, the collection, the welcoming back-in of the children's liturgy, the offertory, complete with extra servers who stood around with nothing to do.
At this point, I should point out, that quiet prayer was impossible before Mass, as everyone was chatting not with inside voices. In between all the outside action, we stood to sing quasi-heretical hymns. Quasi-heretical hymns are usually about US. Normal hymns are about God and Jesus. And don't sound like a bad seventies pop-song.

Since the changes, we have replaced worship of a Timeless God, with worship of our fickle selves. We have become the focus of the Holy Sacrifice, and Jesus has been sidelined into nice soundbites. Fitted into our feel-good celebration of our awesomeness. If His message fits,we'll take it. If not we'll ignore it. Love is in, salvation is out. Happiness is in,self-sacrifice is not.

A full church is seen as an acheivemnet. Some of the most dire-liturgies I have attended, have been packed to the rafters. The dreadful,noisy First Communion Masses.
Full to the brim.
 People clapping as Timmy and Tilly do their first communion dance for the audience.
 I don't agree that full is good.
 If Father preaches about nothing, and we are not challenged, pretty soon Father will have a full church. People don't like to have their consciences troubled.Its aalll good. We all know what is popular is what is right don't we?
What good is a full Church? How is it different to a full stadium, or a full supermarket? If we are not challenged, if we are not continually called to conversion?
What good are bums on seats if there are not souls for Heaven?
I don't want to go to Mass, and worship me. I am an idiot, a sinner, unable to even exist without the Grace of God. Can't we have one hour a week to give to Him who gives us all?